As you continue slogging through what is clearly no longer a corridor and now is verry distinctly a cave, that intermitent hammering is getting steadily louder and louder.
Combine this with the fact that you now occasionally see drifts of sand, broken shovel handles, and in one place a few bulky waggons scattered about you come to the conclusion that your in a mine, ---- and judging by the relative size of the various tools and wagons, a mine populated by people of a distinctly miner size.
Then suddenly, above the progressive sound of hammering, you here a group of fairly jaunty male voices raised in an irritatingly catchy, entirely superfluous litle ditty in a major key, ---- and one which probably under normal circumstances would be far to energetic to be sung at the same time someone was swinging a pickax.
"groggash! groggash!"
"Groggash, groggash, we're going to make some cash. we'll buy a keen new torture machine groggash! groggash groggash groggash!"
You stop, rather surprised that something so gutteral and profoundly unpleasant could sound so irritatingly cheerful when set to music.
A litle cautiously you continue, stil listening to further verses of the somewhat disturbing song.
"groggash! groggash, your skull we'd like to smash, we'll first make dosh then humans squash groggash, groggash groggash groggash!
Groggash, we'll kill anyone we catch, we'll wrip off their ears and drink some beers groggash! groggash groggash groggash!"
At this last verse you deffinately think, despite the rather harmonious singing that continuing in this direction would be distinctly hazardous to your health. You resolve to quietly back away up the passage before whatever is ssinging this grizly, if happy tune catches you, and drinks beers!.
You begin to back slowly away, trying to make as litle noise as possible. however, you are so busy attempting to stealthily creep backwards that you totally fale to see the collection of long handled mining tools leaned up against the cavern wall, ---- really, creeping forwards would've been far more efficient.
Your just congratulating yourself on your superior sneakery, when suddenly you find that the long, wooden haft of a pickaxe has become lodged betwene your ankles.
The sudden jolt catches you completely off balance and reflexively you put out a hand to steady yourself. Unfortunately, the thing you steady yourself on is yet another long pickaxe which is precariously balanced against a heap of others.
The net result of all this is that you along with a large collection of pickaxes, not to mention your pride, end up clattering to the cavern floor in an extremely noisy, highly undignified and totally unstealthy heap.
If you had hitpoints, we could assume you lost some here, --- -at least you picked up a number of bruises in interesting places and a very nasty crick in your ankle. however, sinse you don't have hitpoints we'll just assume that you spend most of the rest of the adventure feeling stiff and slightly sore in various parts of your body.
The singing abruptly breaks off, and you here several pairs of feet skittering down the cavern towards you.
You are just trying to recollect your wits, disentangle yourself from the heap of stacked mining equipment and decide which bruise to rub first, when you here two stony, squelchy but surprisingly polite voices above you.
"Oh dear me. I think it's a human"
"yes, I do believe your right, ---- here please assist me in helping it up"
Two sets of small but strong and surprisingly rough hands are stuck under your arms and you find yourself lifted gently to your feet where you can at last get a look at the creatures who helped you up, ---- creatures who were presumably just singing that entirely bloodthirsty, though rather tuneful litle song.
You feel yourself stiffen with a combination of instinctive shock and worry, sinse there is absolutely no doubt what your looking at, ---- even though it's deffinately something you've never seen in actuality before.
Small, hairy and misshapen, clad in what is apparently a set of overalls made out of some sort of furry hide, with narrow, squinting eyes, large ears and some impressive looking fangs these are, without any atom of doubt, ---- goblins, --- or possibly orcs, naals, kobolds, hob goblins, sprites, hobs, pucks, or about a million other names.
You decide however goblin is probably the easiest to deal with.
"mmmm,"
You begin uncertainly.
one of the creatures peers up at you with a concerned expression, --- assuming that something with a set of brilliant green eyes planely only intended by nature to give looks of menace and evil can look concerned.
"Are you alright you poor human, ---- we can take you to our first aide tent if you like, Bloodbag makes a fine cup of tea"
"mmmm"
You continue eloquently, stil slightly stunned by the real existance of things you've only previously read about in books or seen in films, and even more confused at the idea of a goblin making a fine cup of tea.
The second creature pats you reassuringly on the shoulder, ---- or at least on the small of the back.
"yes, a cuppa is just what you need, ---- now come with us"
You find yourself being steerd down the corridor by these two quite solicitous goblins who keep muttering reassuring sounding nonsences as though they're a couple of old ladies looking after a todler.
You hear "dear dear, such a dreadful fall"
and "we'll see you alright"
At the end of the corridor (or rather the cave), you see a large rock face where a number of other goblins are obviously hard at work mining. Some seem to be applying pickaxes and shovels, while others are loading up and pushing huge wagons laiden with loose stone and rock.
At the site of you a good many crowd over and you here several comments like "oo! a visitor" and "the poor thing, it looks confused"
Over to one side is a stripy, canvas structure which the mob of by now very concerned goblins sheepherd you into.
A second later you find yourself sat down on a folding camp chair and having a steaming mug of tea pressed into one hand while another goblin is offering a plate of what are clearly cookies.
"batrash baked them this morning"
You here. Then suddenly the goblin who brought you in (the one with the distinctly evil green eyes), is pushing all the others away with cries of "give it room let it have a rest!"
And a second later you find yourself left alone in what is clearly the Goblin's break tent.
Swigging at the hot sweet tea and eating one of the rather overly sugary biscuites, you start to look around.
apart from the fact that everything is a trifle smaller than your used to, this looks pretty much the way you'd expect any expedition's break and first aide tent to be, ---- though some of the bottles in the first aide cabinete have lables like
"bugrosh's best death flower brue"
and "dr. glooprot's toe nale ointment"
You could just sit here and wait for your host to get back, but on the other hand you do see a couple of things which look worth investigating.
On the table you see a copy of a huge, red bound book with an impressive title in goald letters.
"the downfall of the lord of the rings and the ending of the third age, as seen by the litle people"
To one side is what is apparently a cash box, ---- at least it's a hefty wooden chest with impressive iron strappy bits, a huge bulging lock and a sign on saying "cash.
So, what will you do?
wait for the goblin to return.
The horrible dungeons of dreadful doom.copywrite2011 by Dark.